I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
