what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
