she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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