Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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