Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
