Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
