i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize