I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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