just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
