We won't sleep together?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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