I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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