my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
