last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
