Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
