two words...techno handjob
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
