I need help removing her.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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