i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
