I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
