I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
