Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
