You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
