I CAN MOONWALK!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
