And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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