Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
