yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
