Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
