Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize