is wine microwaveable?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
