Me too!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
