You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize