Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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