How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
