My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
