all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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