look no pants
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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