I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
well you can't waste a boner
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
