Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
