She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
should my penis look like a turkey
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
