i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
