Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
