Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
