Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
