I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
