All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
