i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
