What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
