Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
