i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
