That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
