Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you traded sex for a burrito?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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