hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize