I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
