ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
