Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
