You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
