I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
