I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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