he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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