I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
