it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
