Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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