I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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