This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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