Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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