I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
